feelin' like a star, you can't stop my shine....

Today I reached a big goal! This week I lost 1.8 for a total of 10 pounds! Like I've said earlier, I've registered and re-registered for weight watchers probably a total of about 8 times....and only ONCE have I actually gotten to 10 pounds. and that time, it was when I was a lot younger and my goal was to lose only 10 pounds. Haha:) well I still obviously have a lot to go, and am no-where near lifetime, but I'm getting there.

And tonight, my friends Kelsey, Savannah, Stephanie, and Taylor and I all went running at a track. This weather is so perfect and amazing and I felt soooo good. Before, I only limited myself to the gym. And I've realized that i HATE the tread mill. It's the devil. But running on the track in the cool night air, without my ipod, able to run to the beat of my own thoughts...it's sort of indescribable:) I feel so good. I can't say that enough. all this hard work has really paid off. a few people have been telling me they can tell I've lost weight. for me, that is such an awesome thing to hear. this makes all the hard work and sacrifice more than worth it.

Well jeez...I feel like all I've been talking about on here is losing weight! umm...well lately I've just been busy with school (of course), stress, teaching piano, hanging out with friends, the usual:) I've been loving life. I feel so blessed by my Heavenly Father. The past few years have not been the easiest. And now I'm realizing that it's true that Heavenly Father will always pull through in the end and support us and bless us if we remain faithful during our struggles. And I'm so grateful for the past few years because if every little thing didn't happen exactly the way it did, I wouldn't be the person I am today. That also makes me so excited for the future for more opportunities to learn grow, experience things, strengthen my testimony, and learn from different trials. I'm so grateful for life and the Plan and Heavenly Father and my Savior and my family and my friends. I hope everyone has a wonderful week:)

Busy, Busy

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. This week I started school again, and oh, how I miss being on break!:( But i was able to get right back in the swing of things and thankfully, keep up all my good habits that i established while i was on break. This past monday, I lost 1.6. So now my total is 8.4 in three weeks. i can't complain:) We're basically all moved into our new house now, and I'm loving it. Today I'm going to try to have a really productive day and get lots done, mainly getting my room all together. I need to buy some paint to re-do my frames/wall-hangings and stuff so hopefully I get a lot done.:) hope you all have a good weekend!!!

Here are some pictures my friend Alora took of me last week:)

Wow...Didn't See That Coming!

Well, tonight was the weigh-in! I wasn't nervous because I knew I had lost weight. I could physically feel it. I thought I'd have a good couple pounds under my belt. Well after dealing with the cranky old lady receptionist who yelled at me for not having my goal weight yet, and then making me go buy something at Starbucks because she didn't have change for a 20 (and this caused me to be late for the meeting), I stepped on the scale. And the cranky old lady's face suddenly got really surprised. And she said...."Wow...you lost 5.2. Good job!" HAHA! I was so excited! Ahhh.:) I've never lost that much in one week!

And then later in the meeting they were talking about exercise, and the leader said, "You know it IS possible to lose weight without exercising..." Then I was gonna raise my hand and say, "YEAH! i just lost 5 lbs and I sat on my butt all week!" but I didn't say that.:) And good thing, because she continued, "BUT, why is it important to exercise?....blah blah blah.." Ha.

So yeah game-plan for this week? Well basically I know that if I don't be as psycho as I was last week (if not psycho-er), then I will gain weight, even if I follow the exact weight watchers plan perfectly (which would include eating ALL of my points, which i have NOT been doing).

So this week, it's going to be exercise, on top of eating like a Nazi. Me and my cuzzy Hannah already have it planned to go running every day. And quite frankly, there is nothing I hate more in the world than exercise. Ok well maybe a few things, like liberals, stupid teachers, and annoying people...but that's for another post. Point is, I hate hate hate it. I dread it. I avoid it. I feel like I'm going to die when I do it. But ya know, I can't lie, when i do do it, AFTERWARDS, I guess I do feel pretty good:) but then hate it again the next morning when I can't walk from soreness. So this is going to be my challenge this week. Hope you all have a good week! Peace out!

Progress

I really didn't want to do another post about my new eating habits and such, but it's been my main focus lately and it really has been a big part of my life, just in the past couple weeks!

The past few days, I have been psycho about what I've been eating. I don't know if it's even healthy, obsessing over all this healthy food. I am learning to embrace hunger, but in an extreme way. Now, no-one freak out, I am not starving myself or depriving myself by any means, but I've just been really focusing on getting used to less food and the only way to do that is to quit eating when I KNOW i've had enough. And I've realized that about a half hour later, that "not done eating" feeling that my brain tricks my stomach into thinking totally goes away and I feel perfectly fine.

My mom and I also went to Sprouts a couple days ago and went CRAZY. I LOVE eating healthy and one day, I want to be one of those psycho people who buy nothing but organic:) haha but at Sprouts, we got all sorts of fruits, veggies, psyllium husk, flax seed, almonds, La Tortilla Factory tortillas (holy cow, miracle food), and cracked wheat bread (another amazing low-calorie food). I was a happy girl:)

The only down side of this super-conscious eating is that when I'm in situations like I was tonight, it makes it super hard to let myself endulge even a little bit.

But tonight's Sunday family dinner was a milestone.

It was probably the first time in a reeeeally long time that I didn't get seconds. And the first time in a reeeeally long time I didn't get dessert. Like seriously, before- I LIVED FOR DESSERT! And I know on weight watchers, you shouldn't deprive yourself and there's no foods that you can't eat, but I refused to let this whole week go by so perfectly food-wise, and then ruin it by having dessert. I did have to leave the dinner a little early to avoid the extreme temptation (haha) BUT on the way home I felt SO good. 1-because I really watched my portions and I didn't have that super-stuffed feeling I usually get after Sunday dinner. and 2-because I didn't eat dessert and on the way home, once I left, the thought of the desserts didn't even appeal to me anymore. This is seriously like a miracle to me! And I'm sure that my weigh-in tomorrow wouldn't have been totally affected if I had dessert, but by not eating it, I proved to myself that if I was able to overcome my biggest temptation (being dessert), I can really do anything. And it boosted my confidence in what I'm doing SO much.

This week is my last week of break so it still should be pretty easy to continue to do very well, especially with all my new food from Sprouts:) But the only thing I'm really worried about is starting school again next week. I know how I get when I'm in school. Eating is the WORST. I don't eat breakfast, I have a random snack for lunch, then when I get home around 2:30 (usually really hungry), I go psycho and eat about 3 meals worth of food, then eat dinner at around 8. Ahhh it sounds even more awful now that I type it. BUT IT IS GOING TO CHANGE. And I've got to come up with a master-sneaky-plan to stop it. And that's what I will be doing all this week as I munch on my carrots and chug down my psyllium husk!:) muhahah:) until then, peace out!

The Dreaded Weight-Loss Post...

I've been blogging for about 3 years. And I've never talked about this. Not once. This, being weight loss. I might have mentioned little things, like "oh I'm really going to try to work out!" or things like that. But this topic is really part of who I am, well more like, the need for weight loss-is a big part of who I am. And I think I've never talked about it because I didn't want to accept it, or I just didn't think it was a big deal.

But now I'm talking about it because I'm finally serious about change.

I've always been heavier. I remember being bribed with $10.00 for every pound I lost when I was eight years old. Back then, I didn't think much of it, and it really didn't have much effect on me then (thank goodness). I just thought, Oh yep I should lose weight! But now that I think back on it, I can't think of a more horrible thing-bribing an EIGHT year old to lose weight. 

But now I am almost 17 years old, and I am doing this for ME. Not because my mom says I should. Or the doctor says I should. But because I know that the ugly truth is- if I want to FULLY live life, I need to do this. For real. 

As we've looked at my weight patterns starting from when I was about 8 or 9, on average, I've gained 15 pounds per year, without fail. And I still am gaining. It is out of control. The only time I broke this pattern was when I was in between 5th and 6th grade, instead of 15 lbs, I gained FIFTY pounds in that year. And that was the year we moved from Mesa to Queen Creek. That is the apitamy of my life right there- whenever there's change or hard times or stressful times, or anything like that-I react with food and bad habits. 

I will always and forever question why THIS had to be my trial in life, but it is, and I need to deal with it and respond appropriately. 

Going back to what I said earlier, I kind of joke that I've been on Weight Watchers since I was about 8. I've probably stopped and re-started it about 10 times. I would go for a few weeks, lose about 10 pounds then quit, and the cycle would start again about a year later. But when I think about it, when i WAS doing the program for real, it worked! and it teaches you how to eat CORRECTLY and the correct AMOUNT of food to eat. Not just eat this, this, and this to lose weight FAST...(then gain it back a month later). 

So my point is, I've decided to do it again. But this time, I'M the one who's choosing to do it and who ACTUALLY wants it to work. I'LL be doing the 30 min. drive every week with MY gas money and I'LL be the one paying for it every week. I know this will keep me motivated to go and confirm to me that this is MY choice. 

I've always wanted to lose weight more than anything in the world. Ever since I can remember, every birthday blowing out the candles, I would think, "I wish I was skinny". So I don't lack the desire or the motivation. I also know HOW to lose weight and I have the means and I'm totally capable. So honestly, I don't know what it actually is that I lack and why I've never been successful, but this journey is going to be figuring it out what it was that I lacked and hopefully I'll have IT (whatever IT is) when I'm successful. 

But for now, all I can do is TRY. And try harder than I've ever tried.

and for the past week and 2 days, I've done nothing but TRY. and my first week, I lost 1.6. It's not that much, but it's a START. and I know that the slower I lose it, the longer I'll keep it off. And the point of this is to not only lose weight, but to also train my body to get used to less food. And it will be hard at first (I already know this because it HAS been hard, the last week and 2 days), but I've realized that it's all about the end result. And even though I may be hungry in the moment, I've already noticed that as the days go on, the less hungry I become. My body is already responding:) and that's my goal. 

So I'll be doing the Weight Watchers program which is a simple yet leniant point-system, and on top of that, I have a few rules for myself. They are: 

#1: no eating past 6pm. This is extreme but it all has to do with planning my meals and when I eat them, and it's worked. I've always tended to make extra-bad food choices at night, so I really think this will help. This also makes waking up in the morning SO much easier knowing that I did good the day before, and I can't mess everything all up, and I need to start the day putting GOOD food in my body. That goes into the next one.... 

#2: Don't eat anything that is not doing my body any good, no matter how few points it may be. My food choices have been really conscious and I'm really trying to choose foods from the basic food groups and hardly any crap, when before all I would eat is crap and processed food-like substances. And it's true what they say...old habits die hard. reeeeally hard.

#3: Drink TONS of water. We're talking like 80 oz a day! Man I've been peeing like Seabiscuit lately, but drinking a lot of water makes me feel so good! 

Well... that is basically it! Like I said, it's HARD! but i NEED to do it. I'll post every monday (weigh in day) with my results of how I did for that week. I think that will be a good way for me to stay accountable!

Wish me luck!:)