I've felt rather strange the past couple weeks, knowing that I'm done with high school. But I would say it's 99% relief, maybe 1% thinking that I'm going to miss it. High school was a very shaping and adventurous time for me, but I'm so glad that I will never have to deal with the drama, immaturity, ignorance, busy work, and stress that comes with high school. Now I know that in life, you'll never avoid such annoyances completely, but being in one place for four years, you just get sick of it. Sick of the people, teachers, staff (even if such people were really great - which, at my school, I did get to know some really awesome people). I just am ready for a change. A new adventure.
When I weigh in my mind which is better... Being overwhelmed with school, homework, performances, college planning, etc, during the school year, or having nothing to do during the summer and the feeling of having no purpose, I begin to wonder what life really means. During the school year I would constantly remind myself, "Just hold out until summer. Endure to the end. You won't have a care in the world and everything will be great and stress-free." And now that summer's here, I tell myself, "Wait until August. Then you'll finally be able to get into the productive swing of things." After reflecting on this nonsense, I've realized that I can choose to be happy during the busy times by being grateful that I have so many opportunities, and I can also be happy during the boring times by choosing to enjoy the relaxation. I don't always have to be miserable and complaining :)
So far my summer has consisted of browsing (for hours probably) on Pinterst, teaching a piano lesson here and there, laying out in the pool while trying to convince myself it is ok to maybe look like a Dorito), and stressing about college enrollment yet doing nothing about it. Okay, maybe that's a lie... I have called, emailed, asked questions, tried to get the financial situation smoothed over. But it's rather difficult when nobody is helpful! For those of you who don't know my college plans, I'm going up to NAU in August as a music major. And frankly, NAU has been terrible so far about answering questions, clearing confusion, etc. But hopefully when I go to New Student Orientation next week, all my questions will be answered, confusion will be ironed out, and stress will be relieved...that is, until the first day that classes start in August. :)
In the meantime, I desperately need to come up with some structured schedule for the rest of the summer. Let's face it. Going to bed at 1 a.m every night, waking up at 11 every morning, eating crap food all day long, sitting on my butt wallowing in my satisfaction that I no longer have any obligation to anyone in that hell-hole called Queen Creek High School all make me feel like garbage, crap, poop, any other word you'd like to call it. I need to...Get active. Start eating better. Function off to-do lists again (can't deny it--they help me be my best), even if the tasks I have "to do" are self explanitory, like "take a shower....call NAU about x, y, z." I NEED STRUCTURE!
So when I'm in my first year of college and crumbling under stress, I should come back to this post and remind myself how I crumble when I have no stress, too! Ahhhh life.
While I'm thinking about it, I think I'll share some great Pins that I've come upon that have motivated me to get off my booty. Maybe after that, I'll share some other pins of scrumptious looking desserts!
No comments:
Post a Comment